I found myself dreaming again, and admitting to it. There is a part of me that says “Hush. It is far too early, far too unstable to begin dreaming.” There is a part of me that understands speaking one’s dreams can bring them into reality, or can curse them to remaining only in the dusty corners of the mind. There is part of me that fears either eventuality. While present, these are not as loud as the self saying “yes, this is the path, this is the direction.”
I returned with direction. I know the next steps. I know what I have to do, how to prepare for the next adventure, the next requirement. It is clear in my head. Rachel, I found my Legend again, what I am supposed to do. What work it will be, and what joy it can bring. It is so achingly clear in my mind, beautiful and fragile and like some tiny, iridescent bird.
The question the universe asks… what will you do for it, to bring it into reality, to discover where it is waiting for you? Anything. What will you give up for it, what aspects of self identity, what connections, what that you’ve worked to build will you scrap? Anything. When I see it that clearly, how could I not?
An asexual and pansexual become room-mates and have wacky adventures
The show is called ‘All or Nothing’
Plot twist: the asexual is really super outgoing and is a huge flirt while the pansexual is extremely socially awkward and has trouble ordering coffee let alone getting a date.
my hand slipped
A couple that are important to me.
- Please tell me if plans change. If one thing is planned to occur, and you would prefer this different thing to happen, engage me in that discussion. Maybe you’ve been controlled or told what you can & can’t do in the past, or maybe it’s something different, but that’s not this present circumstance. When you don’t engage me in that conversation (“Hey, i know we were planning on x, but new data and I’d like to z instead”) limits my ability to have a say about what goes on in my life. It’s a form of removing consent. I’m not ok with it. I might choose to do z, I might choose to do something else, I might feel disappointed but ALL of those are my choice that I get to make. If you remove my ability to make an informed decision in even a small way, I will be angry and resentful.
- If I ask to hang out, never feel obligated to. No is always an appropriate answer. Letting me know that you’ve got other plans is like the level two version of this. ”Sorry, I can’t, I’m spending the night with X” is not just utterly appropriate, but happiness inducing. I’ll probably give you a high five and just try again some other time. This is sort of a respect thing. I don’t respect my work - like, at all - so I lie about being sick or stuff like that. I don’t give them reasons. When engaging with people I respect - friends, lovers, coworkers - I strive to be honest because I feel their understanding matters. ”No” is important. ”No because” shows some kind of trust/respect. You know what happens if I feel envy? I get to deal with feeling envy, suss out it’s source, and work to obliterate it. I also get to feel compersion. Taking away my choice of action/reaction limits me, says “you’re not quite enough” and that’s much worse.
- Say your feels. This is that other part of the respect - give me data to function from. Allow me to make better choices instead of just mucking about.